The Great Indian Marriage

It is official. My sister is taking the plunge, nay dive, into holy matrimony, in the wee hours of the morning, on the 24th of November, 2008. Gosh. In one felled swoop, she has done me a huge favor. She has fulfilled my parents dream of arranging a marriage and hopefully, relieved me of some of my supposedly future responsibilities, vis a vis, my marriage. On this happy note, I thought I would shed some light on a traditional Indian Marriage.

It is a tamasha. Anglophiles, navigate here. A pure, unadulterated tamasha, except for the folks who are actually organizing it. Being smart and equipped with a plethora of gray cells, mon ami, I'm flying in a week before the wedding, giving her a good kick on that auspicious day, and flying back a few days later. My parents disapprove of such frivolity and in a few hours, once I send them this link, I expect emails and phone calls, gently chiding me with respect to my infantile behavior. Pray, let me state my case.

In an Indian wedding, the bride's parents are entrusted with the most important task, that the groom's party, have a rollicking time. My parents have taken this to heart and decided to hold the marriage in Shillong, a picturesque place. Throw in a trip to Cherrapunji, and a few local caves, it does make a good vacation to boot!

It is however, not renown as the place one goes to for hosting conventions and the like. Hence, the scarcity of hotel rooms available at any given time. My father, being resourceful, has taken it upon himself to grab as many rooms as possible, by hook or by crook. The latter, brings me to a segue.

My father is a cop. A good one at that. What is debatable is whether the police contingent in Shillong is better at knocking on doors to solve a crime, or asking the owner of the said door, for a tally of avaiable rooms. The crime rate however, has dropped quite significantly over the last couple of weeks.

I thus propose my pet theory of the week, that every cop in the Greater Shillong area, be made to hold their children's wedding in Shillong. Within weeks, the average malcreant would realise that crime doth not pay, not with the plethora of weddings taking place, and hopefully, lend a helping hand to the proceedings.

On another note, I am aggrieved. Ideas of mine have been shot down. Unfairly, methinks. For instance, the cops have a parade ground. I have suggested that we make use of that lovely green field and hoist tents up to host our guests. Reveille would be provided by the police band, which can also double up and perform at the wedding. The only item off limits would be the "Beating Retreat". This idea was shot down.

Hmph. Deep down though, I'm looking forward to it! :)